To Love a Woman
by Baby Girl's a Queen
Summary: Neal and Kel realise they just might have feelings for one another, but will this be enough to break up their relationships.
1. Chapter 1

Story Chapter 1

Sir Nealan of Queenscove was the first to trudge into the palace that night, still gossiping idly with Lady Knight Kelady, not having noticed she was still leaned up against the grand entrance way, almost asleep. 'It has been a long day,' Neal thought as he turned around and saw Kel, slowly slipping down the wall to sprawl across the cold tile floor.

Neal went back and forced his muscles to bend over and help Kel up, "Come on, Kel. We can't have you sleeping here. What would people think?"

"Right now, I couldn't care less." Kel was obviously unhappy at having to walk all the way back. They had left after lunch and kept good pace all day. After the sun had slipped under the horizon their pace had begun to slow. They had passed through the gates to the cit just as the last bell wrung to signal that it was past midnight and Neal had encouraged, cajoled, challenged and threatened her to got her to walk back to the palace. "We can't all have horse-blood you know, Neal. I would much rather stay hear in the foyer than climb those stairs."

"Oh, so this morning you can't even wait until I stop the bleeding in your arm before you rush into yet another fight, with the odds undoubtably stacked against you coming out alive, but now you can't even walk up a few measly flights of stairs." Neal tried again to get her up but felt the affect was lost as he was sure he sounded almost as exhausted as she looked. Pulling his strength toether he decided on a plan, "Well, if that's how its going to be." Neal picked Kel up an dslung her over his shoulder as he slowly, excruciatingly made his way up to the second floor where Kel's rooms were located.

Neal fished around in Kel's pockets for several minutes before he found her key. Thanking the Gods that her room no longer need a password, Neal nudged the door open and dumped Kel most unceremoniously on the bed in the middle of the room. Neal glanced around the room in a dazed sort of way before looking back at the bed with an expression of pure hunger. 'It won't matter,' Neal decided, 'not for just one night, just this once.'

Neal removed his shirt and wearily groped at the buckles to remove the many knives and weapons from his person. He looked again at Kel and swore softly when he realised she had fallen asleep with all her weapons still in place. He removed her boots and began the arduous task of finding all of Kel's hidden weapons.

'It's a pity I'm so tired,' Neal thought, 'this task would be really enjoyable if I had any energy.' Neal stopped short – the thought had jumped unbidden into his mind – but then relaxed, blaming his sudden attraction to his best friend on pure exhaustion. Finishing the task, he stumbled over and locked Kel's door. No matter how understandable his reason for staying in Kel's room that night was, he did not want to explain their planned sleeping arrangements to any of their mutual friends.

Neal fell into bed and together they slept the sleep of the dead.

***

Kel rolled over press herself closer into the warm lump that was wrapped around her. She lay that way for several moments before her eyes fluttered open. The cold winter light was streaming in through the cracks in the shutters and she had found herself in the direct path of the brightest light.

Groaning, Kel decided to wake up – she knew there was no point in trying to return to her dreams now. She tried to role over, only to find herself trapped by a well-muscled arm pinning her to a very warm body. Blushing and confused, Kel realised that there was a man in her bed, and at this angle she had no idea who it was. Blushing furiously now, and beginning to panic, Kel realised she didn't even remember going to bed last night – she remembered lying in the middle of the foyer but for the life of her couldn't remember mounting the flight of stairs to her room.

Kel tried in vain to roll escape from her warm, and admittedly very comfortable, prison. Her muscles simply would not obey her command and she was trapped again. Kel lay back down and sighed in defeat. As she let her body relax, she felt the arms wrapped tightly about her torso relax as well. Seeing an opportunity, Kel rolled over within her constraints – hoping to see the face of her captor.

Kel almost shrieked bloody murder as she looked up into the familiar green eyes of her best friend. Using all of her control she managed to keep it to a sharp intake of breath and her entire body went rigid. Unfortunately, this caused Neal to unconsciously pull her body flush against his in what Kel felt a very awkward position.

Neal's eyes slowly fluttered open to look at Kel's face, then closed again as he leaned in to Kel and kissed her softly. Neal's kiss was soft, portraying all the love and care in the world, he slowly brushed his chapped lips to hers and left them there for a moment. Kel was too shocked to breath, let alone react to this.

"Good morning, Kel." Neal muttered, his lips still less than a millimetre away from Kel's. She could feel his hot breath on her face and was brought back to reality. This time Kel did shriek as she pushed away from Neal and landed hard on the cold tile floor with a dull thud.

"In the name of the Gods, Neal. What do you think you're doing?" Kel was yelling loud enough to wake every God in the Divine Realms, and Neal seemed to be looking about him in confusion – his eyes wide, his face as pale as a ghost. "Where are my weapons, why are you in my bed, and for Heaven's sake, why did you just kiss me?" Kel's breath was coming a little heavy and panicked after her tirade.

"Um, I carried you up to your rooms last night," Neal was stuttering, obviously nervous, "I couldn't wake you when you went to sleep in the entrance and so I carried you up and put you in bed. And then I couldn't just leave all your weapons on you, you'd end up stabbing yourself in the night, so I found them and they're all over on the table." Kel blushed as she realised Neal had managed to find _all_ of her hidden weapons. "And then I guess I just decided to sleep here." Neal finished lamely, looking slightly ashamed.

The silence in the room was pregnant and decidedly awkward. To both of there prayers, the bell broke the silence, tolling that it was lunch.

"I guess we better go to lunch then. Nobody will be happy if we're late." Neal announced, relieved that he would not have to explain his motives for kissing her for a while yet.

Kel watched surreptitiously as Neal pulled on his shirt, did up his belt and slipped a knife in his boots, admiring his muscled grace, as she tried to put on her hidden weapons modestly. She failed miserably and Neal had to remind himself that he was betrothed as he glimpsed several flashed of bare skin.

***

As the pair were about to walk into the Knight's Mess Hall, Neal grasped Kel's shoulder's and spun her around, looking carefully into her face for any show of emotion under her Yamani mask.

"Kel, I am very sorry if I caused you any discomfort be spending the night in your bed." And by kissing you, and holding you prisoner against my chest, he silently added.

"It's ok, Neal. We were both really tired and I didn't even notice you were there until this morning. I understand why you didn't want to go all the way back to your room – hell, I couldn't even be bothered to get out of the entrance hall." Kel voice was calm and gentle and reassured Neal that everything was going to be alright.

Neal and Kel walked into the Mess Hall, grabbing their trays and going to sit at their usual table. Neal sat next to Yuki, his betrothed who had somehow managed to convince everyone she had to eat here, and Kel next to Merric. Conversation swelled to encompass them both – talking of everything from border patrol to little sisters to the upcoming Midwinter Balls.

As the conversation changed again to allow Merric to whinge about his fast approaching arranged marriage, Neal slipped his arm around Yuki's waste and lie a silent kiss upon her hair. Seeing the comfortable gesture of love between the two, Kel felt an arrow of jealousy shoot though her. Jealousy that Yuki would be spending more time with Neal now. Jealousy that Yuki would receive Neal's goodmorning kiss. Jealousy that Neal loved Yuki best.


	2. Chapter 2

Kel whirled around once more, her glaive a silver blur about her, silent, graceful and deadly. But if somebody had watched very closely they would have notice her dreamer's eyes, usually focussed and determined during her glaive routine, were clouded over and full of unrest that shadowed over he face.

Kel sighed and sat down on the bed. Her most complicated glaive dance was usually able to pull her from her thoughts, but today nothing could. She didn't know what to think of Neal's good morning kiss, but that was no longer an issue. After all, one little kiss (one soft, delicious kiss on her lips, in her bed) could never change anything between two friends who had known each other as long as she had known Neal. No, the issue here was how she had felt when Neal had kissed Yuki.

She sent a silent prayer to the Gods that if she lay quietly for long enough, it would all be a dream and she could go back to her careless flirting with the men of Third Company. She wasn't in love with them – the only one she had ever crushed on reminded her painfully of Neal.

"I've fallen for him again," Kel whispered silently to herself. It was the only explanation she could think of and it almost shamed her enough to cry. Neal would be a married man soon and she would still be sitting on her single bed, wishing she could again share it with Neal.

***

Kel was still lying on her bed clutching onto her weapon when Yuki burst in half a bell later.

"How could you do that to me, Kel?" Yuki's voice was shrill and angry, "I thought you were my friend and now you decide to trample all over my dreams!" Kel was shocked that Yuki had lost face, and she had no idea what she had done to bring this on.

"What are you talking about, Yuki? You know we're friends, I would never do anything to hurt that." Kel knew she could never steal Neal from the beautiful, exotic Yamani standing in front of her, she couldn't do that to her friend.

Yuki was glaring daggers at Kel now, and seemed to portray everything a good Yamani lady was – beautiful and deadly. "What am I talking about?" Yuki's tone had switched from its screeching and was now as cold and hard as steal, "Neal told me that you both arrived last night Kel. He told me that you got to the palace in the middle of the night and he _carried_ you to your bed. How was that meant to make me feel? With less than two months until we are to be married, my betrothed goes and sleeps with his best friend. And then, he tries to say that it was nothing, that I'm overreacting, and hints that he would do it again in those circumstances." Yuki's volume had risen again to a yell that made Kel's ears wince by the end of her speech.

Kel was shocked – Yuki couldn't possibly think Neal had _slept _with her. Throughout the war with Scanra Neal had been separated from Yuki and had never thought about any other women, let alone gone to another woman for _that_. Kel paled as she realised why Yuki was so mad, and tried to think how she could clear Neal's name.

"Yuki, Neal did carry me to bed last night but it was only because I had fallen asleep in the main entranceway and he was too tired to walk up the remaining flights of stairs to his rooms. He did sleep with me but its not what you think: we shared a bed, but nothing else," Kel conveniently forgot about the kiss, "You know Neal would never do anything like that to you." Kel had walked over to hug the now sobbing Yamani."

Yuki's tears were falling thick and fast now, wetting Kel's shirt, "But he loves you Kel." Kel tried to shake her head in protest but Yuki continued on through her tears, "He loves you, anyone can see it. He spends all of his time with you, he can talk to you easier than he talks to me and you have known each other for so long now."

"Neal has known Merric just as long as he's known me, he can speak just as easily with Owen and Faleron as he can with me and he spends just as much time with Cleon and Dom as he does with me. Are you suggesting he is also in love with Merric, Owen, Faleron, Cleon and his cousin Dom?" Kel was trying to make light of the situation and remind herself, as much as Yuki, that Neal would never be in love with her. Yuki hugged her back and continued crying into her shoulder.

"And yet he wouldn't even _consider_ sharing a bed with any of those boys." Yuki had calmed somewhat now, with only the occasional sniffle. "Don't try to pretend that the boys just see you as another one of the guys, especially after last night."

Kel shook her head, "He doesn't love me the way he loves you. I am his best friend, and like a little sister to him. You are his 'Yamani Blossom'. You're the one he dreams about going home to when we're at war. You're the one he goes to war for." The sadness shone slightly through Kel's voice as she contemplated her best friends' relationship. A relationship she would never have, not while she was still in love with Neal. Kel paused as she thought, "He does love me, he loves us both differently."

"I think he was trying to explain that when I left him." Yuki sniffled again, "He'll take me back, won't he?" Yuki looked up into Kel's face for reassurance.

"You mean you broke it off?" Kel was shocked by this revelation.

Yuki nodded, still sniffling, "I threw my ring at him and stormed out when he told me he slept with you. He was going in circles: saying how much he loved me, then how much he loved you and that he had slept with you. I was so upset, I shamed myself infront of him, even when I thought I had called off the engagement, and then ran through the palace with tears running down my face."

"He'll take you back."

Yuki looked into Kel's eyes, her Yamani control returning to her, "He loves us both in our own way, and we love him." Yuki took one last look at Kel, nodded her head and left.

***

Kel lay back on her bed, immense guilt and self-pity rolling over her like waves on the beach. She felt guilty for loving Neal and self-pity that he would never return her love. Kel sighed.

Yuki had recognised her feelings as she left, she had validated them making them impossible to escape from. Kel truly did love Neal, she supposed it was what happened when you became physically attracted to somebody you loved so much as a friend.

And that was the problem. Neal was her best friend. Somebody she fought beside, somebody she could tell everything without fear, the only person she knew would always come to rescue her. That was what their friendship was: absolute trust, companionship and a dependence on one another. She knew it wasn't much different to a good marriage.

Kel rolled over and hugged her pillow to her chest as she realised what she had to do. She would be Neal's friend. She would smile, genuinely happy, at his wedding. She would watch him become a father, and then a grandfather. She would watch his life with Yuki and be delight in his joy.

And she would sacrifice her own joy for the privilege.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Tamora Peirce in the Protector of the Small series.

It was a beautiful morning on the practice courts, the sun was out and the chill wind helped the soldier's muscles work that little bit harder. The pages were practicing jousting, squires and green knights could be found sparring against each other and a large wooden pole, the Queen's Riders were practicing archery, the King's Own were doing drills and, in the only empty practice court available to her, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan was trying to learn a new weapon.

As Kel tried another chop she thought the massive Scanran battle-axe was as good at hiding its weight as her glaive. The thing was far heavier than it looked, and it didn't look light. Kel almost severed her toes from her body for the third time that morning and let out a loud string of swears that clearly illustrated to everyone in hearing distance that she had been brought up with the hardiest soldiers. She put the weapon down in the dust, not caring if the lump of steel and wood got dirty, and got herself a drink.

It had been two weeks since her conversation with Yuki. Two weeks of sharing awkward glances with Neal at meals; two weeks of sending death glares at Yuki whenever _she_ received the kisses and hidden caresses; two weeks of feeling utterly guilty that she had any wish to destroy her friends happiness.

But after two weeks she was still wondering how she had fallen in love so deeply so fast. She had always known she was a little more than slightly fickle. After all, she had thought herself in love with Neal before only to fall just as hard for his cousin and then forget about Dom when a boy kissed her. So here she was, after Cleon had left her and her infatuation with Dom had faded, back at the beginning of this perverted love cycle.

Except now it was too late. She had hidden her feelings until they no longer mattered.

Which got back to why she was on the only empty practice court learning how to fight with what was effectively a lump of steel poorly attached to a lump of wood: to escape these depressing feelings. Kel wanted to be sure that she would move on again and find another man, but with Neal… It felt like she had never really fallen _out _of love, just put it on hold while friendship grew, making their bond stronger.

***

Dom walked over to Kel as she was making another attempt with the Scanran battle axe and smiled, finally a weapon _he_ could teach her something about.

"Lady Knight," he grinned as she turned around almost dropping the heavy weapon, "Please allow me to help you with that. After all, I can't have you cutting your toes off, after all the time I spent teaching you to dance."

"You never taught me to dance at all." Kel replied smiling, remembering their easy friendship and enjoying the distraction of flirting.

"Ah, then this must be rectified at once!" Dom grinned as took the weapon, lifting it easily, "Perhaps at the ball next Friday, fair lady?"

"Why, sergeant, are you were asking me, a helpless maiden, to the ball while holding an axe over my head and smelling of a hard morning in the practice yards! Now if you'd just let me get my sword out we could fix this." Kel joked. She rarely acted so dramatically and enjoyed being able to act the player without being judged.

Their conversation continued like this as Dom walked Kel up to her rooms. As they reached Kel's door, Dom grabbed Kel's hand and swung her around to face him, "But seriously Kel, will you come to the ball with me?"

Kel smiled, "Sure."

***

Kel sat in her luke warm bath wondering if she had made the right decision to go to the ball with Dom. She knew she certainly didn't love him, but could she really expect that any more? The bards wrote about love like a spark, that set everything alight and lasted forever. Kel knew from hard experience on the road that that was not the nature of fire. A spark like that would set the dry, crumpled leaves alight and blaze for a moment, then die.

Kel thought of her parents, they had not even met before they were betrothed – they grew to love each other with time, compassion and perseverance. She wondered if she had the endurance of spirit to work so hard for something that would always be second to her love for Neal.

Finally drawing herself from the bath, Kel began frantically rummaging through her closet for an appropriate dress. She held the beautiful princess line dress in a bright vermilion that hugged her scant curves Lalasa had given her nervously. It was certainly the only appropriate dress she owned, but she feared the revealing neckline and low-cut back would further damage her newly founded reputation. She didn't want to risk losing the trust she had only recently gained as a commander.

Kel pulled on the dress and tied the straps tight. Gazing at her reflection, Kel thought she would be lucky if she didn't lose the respect of her friends; the dress was certainly cut to fit. She brushed her hair and added some pearl ornaments her sisters had once given her in an attempt to make her more feminine and smoothed the dress over her thighs.

It was then that Dom decided to rap nervously on the door to Kel's chamber. He had hesitated outside for some time and did not understand how taking a girl to a dance could scare him more than facing the kraken. Admittedly it was Kel.

Opening the door, Kel appraised Dom surreptitiously. She could still appreciate he was very handsome, even if he didn't cause her heart to flutter anymore; he was resplendent in Masbolle colours and the sword hanging at his belt reminded her of his prowess in battle. But they were only friends.

Dom collected himself from the shock of seeing Kel as a lady, no matter how often she wore her drab, workaday dresses to dinner, it did not compare to this. He lounged against the door conspicuously scrutinizing Kel as she put the finishing touches on her hair.

Dom took Kel's hand, laying a soft kiss upon it, "My lady, you look more lovely than ever tonight." Kel curtsied coyly at the sergeant, recognising the twinkle in his eye and his teasing tone of voice, "I am honoured to escort the most beautiful lady at court to tonight's affair."

"You forget, sergeant, that I have never been a lady of the court, and if you feel I am the most beautiful then I must assume your flirtatious way has scared away half the young ladies of the court." Kel paused as Dom laughed, "Do not laugh, my friends will be very disappointed if there are no ladies at this ball to dance with!"

***

As Dom led Kel through the maze of well known corridors that led to the main ballroom, she though it might not be so bad to be married to someone like Dom, when the time came. Spending her life with someone she could laugh with would not be so bad and she knew many of her friends had already been forced into far worse matches.

If the time came, Kel would be happy to marry such a friend as Dom. Her love for Neal was desperate, but her honour would never allow her to act upon it.

The End.

_(I know, I don't like that ending either. But I think it's obvious I got sick of it.)_


	4. Chapter 4

Down the staircase, being announced (100)

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan stood in awe at the top of the grand staircase. No wonder all of the court ladies felt nervous descending these stairs – the Great Hall was displayed before her in all of its grandeur and the beauty of the monumental hall was only surpassed by the many couples twirling happily at her feet. The bright colours swirled as the delicate gothic architecture stood solid. It was breathtaking.

The herald announced her name, "Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle accompanied by Lady Keladry of Mindelan" and a mystifying sensation rushed through her veins. It was power. The pure, unadulterated power of being the beautiful centre of attention, of having jealous eyes roam your flesh and knowing you exceed their expectations. Was this how every lady felt?

She reached the bottom of the stairs and the illusion faded: she would never be the most beautiful woman in this ballroom, she knew it and so did every other courtier. Any jealousy she had not made up had come from the ladies mooning over her partner. She was back on the ground and back to being Sir Kel. But she didn't mind so much, Sir Kel was just fine with her.

Neal's thoughts as Kel descends the staircase. (200)

Neal turned from his wife as the herald announced his love with another man. Jealousy festered in the pit of his stomach and he was sure his face would mirror the bitter emotion. He tried to wipe his face clean, like Kel did so often, like his wife did more and more recently, he didn't want to hurt her with his feelings for Kel but they were undeniable and he was honour bound. Yuki was certainly more beautiful than Kel: her flawless skin, big almond eyes and silken hair created visions for even the most Romantic of the troubadours. They had certainly captured his attention and he had won them with his player's tongue and rogue's tricks.

Neal recalled his courtship. He had spent most of is chasing her skirt like he had every other court lady, flirting, teasing her and leading her maiden's heart on a merry chase. And the coquette had fallen for his trifles, Neal reminisced sadly, he had used his age and experience to his advantage and even used Kel to vouch for his character. And then, in the Chamber, he saw things that still caused him to shudder. He came out a man. A weak, broken, torn to pieces man. He made a man's decision and married his toy (after a fashion).

Now he wished he could have stepped out of the Chamber with the resolve he entered it. He wanted Kel desperately in that moment and the jealousy and desire were still festering in his stomach. He watched as she approached their friends on his cousin's arm. She joked with them, she was comfortable and secure there. He wanted to take that from her and transform her into the fierce, powerful lady he had glimpsed on the stairs.

Neal dances with Yuki while Dom dances with Kel (150)

Defeatedly, Neal watched as Dom bowed low to Kel and led the lady onto the dance floor, twirling her around theatrically and making her laugh a throaty, full, happy laugh, with none of the soft giggles and hidden smiles Yuki shared with him. Neal pulled Yuki onto the dance floor abruptly, causing the woman to squeak but show no emotion on her perfect, doll face. The couples danced close together; Neal and Yuki's practiced, detached and polished dancing juxtaposed with Kel and Dom's fun, relaxed style. Dom flirted with Kel outrageously, overjoyed to have the woman in his arms, and Kel responded, straining to keep eyes away from Neal's form. Neal did not have the same success. His eyes were repeatedly pulled to the lines of boning that showed through the tight bodice of Kel's dress. He lingered on the dip of her waist and longed to loosen the laces until her natural woman's form was revealed. He shook his head; if he was thinking these things already he had obviously been drinking to fast. No matter what he desired, Kel was only his friend. And from the fringes, Yuki noticed all.

A swap of partners (150)

The dance required a twirl, and the two couples complied, Yuki's grace and poise on display as her tiny feet carried her into the arms of the sergeant; Kel spinning wildly and laughing as she landed in Neal's arms, carried by the momentum of the lively dance that had uninhibited her body.

'He's nothing more than a friend,' Kel reminded herself internally. 'That warm smile that nobody can ever match belongs to someone else. The warm, gentle kisses that make you feel like you're home were never meant for you.' So involved in her inner dialogue, Kel never noticed that three sets of eyes were watching her, drinking her in jealously. But she had always been oblivious to that sort of thing.

Neal's arms were tight around Kel as he walked her about the floor. He was sure he should have spun her back into Dom's waiting arms minutes ago but he could not bring himself to let go of the big, muscled girl that he would always seek to protect first. So Dom had asked Yuki for the next dance and she had accepted politely, letting Neal enjoy the feel of his best friend in his arms again and pretend he had made different choices.

Neal and Kel talk (200)

Neal leaned his head down to brush his lips against Kel's ear, "We need to talk." It was not a request and so Kel merely nodded her head and took the hand he offered.

"Its awkward now, isn't it Kel?" Neal's tone was downcast and his gaze failed to meet her eyes, lingering instead on her painted lips. "Since I kissed you. It's not the same."

"No." Kel's reserved answer did not betray her confusion. Her eyes did, if he would only take the leap and look.

"I've always loved you. I was just never stupid enough to put my heart out there for you to spear with your pigsticker and hand back mangled beyond repair. So I tucked it away and pretended I didn't care when you kissed Cleon or had your repeated flings with my own cousin. And let my heart die a slow death of starvation." Neal's words could have been stolen from a nauseatingly cloying bard and they reminded Kel of Neal's page days but his tone was devoid of his usual theatrics.

The kiss he placed on her lips was not. Nor was it one of the soft kisses that Yuki had been receiving all night, kisses that said 'I'm sorry' and 'Thank you' and 'Goodbye' all in one breath and made Yuki feel like a doll to be discarded. It was hard, jealous and grasping. It was Neal demanding payment for all their years of friendship, for every time he had watched another man, a friend, smile and flirt and claim what was _his_.

So Kel pushed back. "We can't do this Neal. And I won't do this."

Kel walked back into the vast ballroom to stand by her partner, chatting with her friends and drinking with the men.

Yuki watches (100)

And Yuki watched it all. As her betrothed took her in his arms, practically groping the Lady Knight, and refused to let go. As bent his head to smell her hair, caress her neck, rub his hands up and down her sides and around to the small of her back, rumpling the silk as he reaches up to skim his thumb along the exposed skin of her upper back. Yuki knows that Neal will not care about the tan lines that tell of a lifetime in the sun or the bulky muscles or her arms that are more apparent now as she hugs them tight around his neck and he whispers in her ear. They kiss and Yuki can tell that Neal wants her more in that moment than he has wanted her in over two years. He watched her as she slowly sashayed back onto the dance floor.

That was the worst part – even after Kel had rejected him, Neal would still look at her with that same wistful, covetous regard. Yuki finally asked herself the hard question 'would he have done the same for her?' He had never looked at her like that when she offered herself to him.

***

Yuki leaves Neal – calmly and rationally this time (200)

That night, Yuki crept calmly into Neal's rooms, relief flooding her to find him there. They were the small rooms of a young night, though probably better decorated than most and at this time of the year they were warmed by a small snake fire glowing in the hearth. At one stage, before the war, these rooms were kept purely for show as Neal would prefer to spend his nights in ecstasy with her. Now they were thoroughly lived in: trousers and shirts were flung over the desk, Neal's favourite books had migrated back to his own bookshelf, rugs had been moved to positions of comfort rather than to appeal to Neal's aesthetic tastes. The thick, pungent smell of man permeated the room. A smell that had been discernibly absent from Yuki's rooms for more than a year now, and that she missed.

Yuki slipped into the single bed and into Neal's armis, stirring the bed enough to wake him.

"Yuki?" Neal's voice was thick with confusion and sleep, "What are you doing here?"

Somewhere, in the back of her head, it hurt Yuki that he was so chocked at her presence, there was a time when he would have pulled her close, kissing her and holding her to his warm chest. "We need to stop playing pretend Neal."

Neal surveyed her with big green doe eyes and she knew that she would have to say it. The laws of chivalry had been ingrained – he would not leave his betrothed, he would see her now as a ruined woman.

"Neal, its time we put this charade to be. I can go home to the Isles."

"But your friends here, Shinko and Kel … you'd miss them." A war was waging inside his head, but he was no commander, he was frozen as for what to do.

"Yes, but I will always miss people. It comes of having such wonderful friends. I was staying for you." Yuki placed her ring on the bench calmly and kissed Neal's forehead and walked out.

The End.

(Some people may not believe this is an inappropriate place to finish the story, but there are many other Kel and Neal stories where Yuki is out of the picture and you can assume their romance will follow a similar path.)


End file.
